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As close as you can get to family without actually being related
One frigid day January day in 1998, I found myself speaking the eulogy at the funeral of a man I'd never met--the father of my longtime running partner and her five siblings.
They couldn't bring themselves to speak, so they asked me to interview them, write down their words, and do it for them.
"Jeanne says a training partner is as close as you can get to family without actually being related," said Jeanne's sister Donna, who called me the day before the funeral with their request. I agreed without hesitation.
After getting acquainted in the locker room of the local YMCA early in 1986, Jeanne and I had met at first light nearly every Saturday for a two-hour training run.
In the process, we'd forged a powerful bond of friendship based on one simple factor: Committed to self-care as the basis of a good and responsible life, each of us depended on the other to show up.
What matters most? Showing up
We ran at conversational pace, down main drags and back roads, along old railroad beds and hilly snowmobile trails, up vicious hills and down, sharing the griefs and the triumphs, the big moments and the minutiae of everyday life. As we ran, our kids passed from childhood into adolescence, began driving and dating, then left home to begin their adult lives.
We ran in sub-zero and 100-degree weather, through rain, wind, sleet and hail storms. We watched magnificent sunrises, and crossed paths with turtles, turkeys, deer, porcupines, foxes moose, and once, a balloon rising up through the early morning mist in a cornfield.
As close friends and trusted confidantes, we often acted as one anther's better selves: urging the other to take care of a nagging cough or rest a swollen knee, or resist an intemperate response to a difficult challenge.
Except for our Saturday runs and occasional footraces we both entered, we felt no need for further social involvement.
We did those long runs together for another three or four years, until osteoarthritis shut me down from competitive sports (and much running at all). Although we don't run as often and not nearly so far these days, I still think still think of Jeanne as "family-without-being-related.". I'd trust her with my life.
If you walk, run, showshoe, cross-county ski, bike, swim, or paddle for fitness, and you want to stay with it, find yourself an exercise partner. The qualifications for a good one? Keep it simple. Look for:
Someone whose fitness level roughly matches your own.
Someone who shares your fitness goals
Someone who lives nearby and whose schedule synchs with yours.
Someone who'll always show up.
Where do you find an exercise buddy?
Just about anywhere people in your community gather. Try your faith community, parent-teacher group, co-workers or business associates, the locker room of a gym. Post a notice on a community bulletin board. Or use this chart to find fitness buddies among your friends, family or other acquaintances.
Check out the meetup sports section or craigslist (type in your preferred activity, e.g., walking, running, biking). You might get lucky!
Are you unsure about what exercise to do or how to do it? Do you find information about exercise confusing or conflicting?
Sometimes a little help from a qualified exercise professional can help you find exercise that will be safe, effective and motivating for you.
How to choose a personal trainer.pdf ( 73kb) from American Council on Exercise Fit FactsThe links below take you to the professional-locater pages of some of the largest and most widely recognized fitness organizations:
